Sometimes It's Just Nature
One day I felt anxiety and sadness overcome me. For the first time in a long time I could not figure out what triggered the emotions. I knew how to calm myself and cope, but part of my coping is to understand where these feelings came from.
I have already mentioned how busy I am, so it is no surprise that I overlooked a major physiological milestone, my 18 month twins boys starting daycare. Psychologically I was fine. I was excited about the boys first day. I couldn't wait to get some much needed time back, and I looked forward to their academic and social development. Still I was sad, my body overcome with heaviness, and anxiety attacking my chest. I used my coping mechanisms, cleaned, cried, took a hot shower, and kissed and hugged the boys incessantly.
My mind knew the physiological manifestations of sadness and anxiety were irrational, but yet there I was hiding in my room wiping my tears. Then finally a breakthrough in my hot shower, my thinking place. It was nature. It was hormones. It was the postpartum fog creeping its ugly head. My body was sad at the cellular level, because it's reason for being had changed once again.
I share this very personal story because it is a good reminder that we are three entities working together to maintain homeostasis. It is our mind, body, and spirit. We cannot just will ourselves to wellness. We have to check the boxes for each component. We also have to know that sometimes it is just nature at work, healing us, changing us, allowing us to perform what is next to come.